


A Challenging Series of Tales

by VisceralComa



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: MCITChallenge2019, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Character in Thedas Challenge, One Shot Collection, Portal Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 10:02:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceralComa/pseuds/VisceralComa
Summary: Prompted by2019 MCIT Challenge week.Day 1: Spirit Sunday - Complete!





	A Challenging Series of Tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1: Spirit Sunday  
Prompt: Your MCIT awakens in the fade as a spirit. What kind have they become and how do they handle it?  
Story: Mercy's Spirit is shattered and sent to the Fade. She has to recover all her shards before they cease to exist. If only it were easy.

“I dared to challenge a God and lost. Fragmented, forelorn, forefeited. I was...**am **his to command now. His to call upon. His to destroy. To wipe the last speck of me from this world and the next until I ceased.”

Maker, when did I ever become quite so purple and full of depression? I rose from the ashes, staring at a visage of myself. Cloaked and frosted, with a smile stretching up to my ears as I - it chittered and wailed it’s own woe.

“We were always full of despair, we merely repressed and ignored. Wallowing was beneath us. But it's all you have.” My depressed self spoke. “Now here in this dimension, this landscape, that we know as-”

“The fade. Yeah I get it. Maker’s sake, you’re worse than my Emo-phase in high school.” I shot back and rose. 

“You might not wish to antagonize yourself. Especially not here.” A tiny, squeaking voice warned. I looked down to the smallest horned rabbit. 

“Audacity?” 

“The one and the same, my tyrant Mercy.” It squeaked as I picked it up. It’s purple eyes blinked as our not quite solid forms, merged and as quick as blink it’s form dissolved into me, a voice speaking inside me that was not me. “Nice to know you remember how to do that.” 

“Why wouldn’t I remember?” I blinked as I recalled learning from the future, the absorption of spirits and demons, taking their essence into me. It would be co-existence or one would subsume the other. Audacity and I had a somewhat civil co-existence. 

“Lovely, you don’t remember what happened immediately preceding this, but you recall fifteen years worth of looped memory from years ago.” I could no longer see Audacity, but I knew they were rolling their eyes. “Your body was destroyed and your self, being. You. Shattered.” 

“Like Mythal?” 

“Yes you twit. Like Mythal. And if you don’t hurry your remaining shards will be just as lost as hers and you’ll be scraping to find what’s left.” 

“So am I the core?” 

“Nay. You are merely a piece, the one I believe may be most successful. And your namesake.” 

“My namesake?” 

“Mercy…” Audacity deadpanned. “Your Merciful acts are your most tyrannical, most feared, and most you.”

“Great, I’ll never be free of that nickname.” 

“You should thank your name for it. It is the only thing keeping you tethered, but wait any longer and you will lose yourself to this world’s meaning of the word.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You are only here because your name, Mercy, is tied in the concept. You identify with that name and thus you can cling to it. But you are not strong enough to challenge the will of what mercy is in the minds of millions of Thedosians.” 

“So what do I do?” 

“My suggestion...absorb your depression there. Become more complex and stitch yourself back together.” 

“Great, I’m a spiritual Sally from Nightmare before Christmas.” 

“Nice to know your sassiness is so heavily tied in your mercy.” Audacity snorted.

“What can I say, it’s essential to be merciful to my sanity.” 

I stepped - glided? - toward my Depression. It chittered and sung it’s woes. 

“Why is it Depression and not despair?” 

“You define yourself in terms unfamiliar to Thedosians. However their definitions may be similar enough, but if you wait, they will be lost. With only a handful of you Earthlings to keep their concept on this plane, they will cease to be.”

“Ah great, so I’m on the clock. Get all my pieces back together before they disappear.” I sighed. “Would it be too convenient to expect you to know where to find myself?” 

“That would be inconvenient, considering you can do it yourself.” 

“I can?” 

“First, become more complex.”

I looked at depression as it wailed and sunk to its knees. “Do I really need this part of myself back? I mean...depression is so pitiful. And it clearly doesn’t want to exist.” 

“It is up to you. What would be merciful?” Audacity asked.

“I could leave it.”

“That is one way. Allow it to cease to exist, let it wallow until it’s very end.” 

“I don’t want it to go all by itself. That seems so very lonely.” I stared at it and around the landscape. There was no one else around. 

“You have limited time. Unless you wish to kill it?

“I don’t like either of these options.” I sighed. “It just...seems so unnecessarily cruel.” 

“But isn’t that what mercy is?” Audacity asked. “Put it out of it’s misery, have mercy on the thing and end it. As you humans would say it.” 

“No!” I yelped. “I’m not like that!” 

“Then what will you do?” 

“If I absorb it…” 

“What cruel fate you condemn it to. To continue when it begs for death.” Audacity taunted. 

“I WON’T KILL IT THOUGH!” I growled. 

“And you won’t leave it be.” 

“What is it. You want me to be cruel! Kill it in cold blood? I can’t do that!”

“Yet it will be just as cruel to absorb it, to allow it to exist.” 

“Oh you’re a piece of shit. FINE. I’ll take it even if it’s cruel and mean, and and-” 

“Merciful.” 

“But you just said.” 

“It is a part of you. And each part of you has a duality. One cannot have mercy without recognizing cruelty.” 

“You’re an audacious little shit, ya know that.” I growled. 

“I am my namesake, my tyrant.” Audacity chuckled. 

“Ugh.” I crossed to depression, and grabbed it by it’s shoulders. “Lets get back together.” 

It rose with a deep guttural wail, knocking me back. “FUCK.” 

“You want to get back together?” Bellany’s voice cooed beside me.

“Bel?” I gasped and turned in the comfort of furs and cushioned blankets. Bellany lay beside me, her legs wrapped around me as she pulled me back down. “Uh..” She had asked a question. “Yeah...get back together.”

“That would be nice.” She yawned and wrapped her arms. “We can lay here, together.” 

“Yeah, we can.” I smiled. I’d missed Bel. After she left the Blades and joined the Inquisition, I worried about her. Even if we weren’t together-together, I still missed her. Missed the way we lay together in our bunk. Warm, soft, comforting. 

“Mercy, stay here.” Bel sniffed, tears welling in her eyes. “Stay here with me, you won’t have to do anything.”

“Of course.” I mumbled to her. 

“Forever?”

“Mercy!” A voice that belonged to neither of us yelled. 

“Wait…” 

“Don’t listen to them. They’ll take you away from me.” Bellany cried. 

“You’re...not Bellany.” I stared, pulling back and stumbling as she gripped my legs. 

“Come now, I can _ comfort _you.”

“MERCY!” Audacity was practically yelling. “Do not listen to the temptation of Comfort.” 

“But…” 

“NO! You will wallow in it, devolve into-”

“Depression.” I muttered and Bellany burst into tears. “I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes and shoved my hands into her, watching as I absorbed her and her wails and a deep gaping sadness filled me. 

“Get up.” Audacity insisted. “Fight the depression, the temptation of comfort. Have it bow to you. It will be Mercy that subsumes control.” 

“Give me a second.” I groaned.

“No seconds! Get up.” 

“You’re worse than Navi.” I pushed off and on shaky half visible legs I moved forward. 

It was like breathing glass, like each breath ripped myself inside out and raw. 

“Why did it take Bellany’s form?” 

“It took the form of the person you associate most with those concepts.” Audacity said. 

“Are you guessing?”

“I am making a logical leap.” 

“So you’re guessing.” I sighed. “But it somewhat makes sense. The last time I was really depressed and had the option of comfort…” I shook my head as the memories came to me. “Was with the Blades.” 

“Precisely.” Audacity hissed. 

“So...how do I find my other selves?” 

Audacity appeared again in front of me. A silver chorded lead in my hand connected to a collar like mist around it. “Follow me.” 

“I thought you said it would be too inconvenient for you to show me.” 

“**I’m** not showing you. You are leading yourself.” Audacity spoke in my ear. 

“Wait...how are you there and in my head?” I stumbled after the horned rabbit. 

“Are you an idiot? That rabbit is a projection. Your inner guide. My essence has fused with you. Or did you forget that?” Audacity taunted. 

“I hate the Fade.” I sighed as we walked down a sloping mountain into a woods. The sound of chopping wood came to me. “Wait…” The further we walked, the louder the chopping sounded and the more consistent it became until it stopped when we came to a stream. 

“I know this stream.” I walked and found a stump. My fingers trailed over it, the sound of the stream and the birds. 

“Careful.” Audacity warned. 

“This is the Storm Coast-” My senses prickled and I ducked as an axe came flying where I had been standing. There I - or one of my selves was. A wild look and two hatchets by her side. Her hands a glow with magic. 

“What the fuck is that.” 

“That...I believe is your Capriciousness.” Audacity said. Capriciousness walked forward and held an axe out. 

“Great. Erratic behavior. Are you like my mother?” I asked it but it remained silent, waiting for me to grab the axe. “You uh… going to answer me?” 

They were silent, muted. Their twisted form was wrapped in hair curled and frizzy. 

“Why are they muted?” I reached for the axe held out to me, grasping it. 

“When was the last time your were Capricious.” 

“Do you know me? Seriously, I’m a capricorn. Capriciousness is my- WOAH!” I threw my hands over my ears. 

Capriciousness raised their axe, their mouth opened and out came a deafening silence that I was all to familiar with. And then - a dragon roar. 

“FUCK!” I threw the axe as Capriciousness attacked again. 

“FINE, then when was the first time you were-” Audacity tried but didn’t get to as Capriciousness punted the rabbit away with a growl and arm transforming into a dragon arm.

“DRAGON!” I yelled as I ran. 

“And why were you-” 

“Because I missed home I would do anything to find something like it!” I already knew the answer as I ducked around. 

“Even endangering yourself?” 

“WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?” I ducked behind another tree. “How the fuck do I beat this?” 

“What beat it last time?” Audacity called as its projection flew around. It was in the shape of an owl. 

“Uh...technically we didn’t?” 

“Then how did you survive?” 

“Running...a lot of running.” 

“THEN RUN!” 

I took off through the woods, hearing that dragon roar call and echo. I ran until I didn’t recognize the woods. Slipping and falling until I tripped into a stream. I scrambled out of it until I came upon the stump. The same stump from so long ago. There was a chopping sound. 

“How did I circle back on myself?” I pushed up and was met, not with the horrid dragon version of myself but Brig chopping wood. He looked at me with a smile. “Brig?”

He shook his head and pointed up as a dragon’s shadow fell on us. 

“Shit… Brig, we have to go. That thing is going to-” Brig held a hand up and pointed to the log. 

“You’re going to keep chopping wood?” He nodded. “Brig, there’s a dragon coming. It could hurt us.” 

Brig frowned, walking over and grabbing me. The axe pressed to his chest and one arm over my shoulders. I remember this. 

“You’ll protect me?” 

Brig nodded. 

“You always have.” 

Brig smiled wider and gave a bow. 

“Even...from myself.” 

Brig pulled me behind him as the Dragon landed. It was harpy like, but instead of feathers it was scaled. It opened its mouth to screech, but it didn’t stand a chance as Brig charged it. His axe raised and - 

“Maker-” I turned away from watching my own head roll around on the floor. It was silent and there was a floundering movement. I peered up to find Brig holding the dragon-harpy carcass as it flailed like a chicken without it’s head. Brig looked unperturbed and was holding his hand out to me. 

“Thank you.” 

“Be safe.” He signed and joined with my hand, letting himself and the dragon-harpy be absorbed into me. 

“What was the otherside of that Capriciousness?” 

“Consistency.” I muttered. 

We carried on. I found my Desire as myself gyrating on a stripper pole. Unsurprising. And then Ivor as my Satisfaction in the audience. It was merely a matter of -ahem- getting the two into a room together. 

I found my Protective nature in the Denerim alienage, keeping the elven orphans safe. Which quickly turned to Patronizing as Frail told myself they could take care of themselves and didn’t need a human. 

I faced my Self-Destructive habits in a dark place, where only Reparation from Cole was even possible. 

I felt all my Rejections, and saved by Vivienne’s lesson in keeping my Composure. 

I found my Pretentiousness in a College memory and had my ego checked by Dorian for my Humility. 

I found Doubt at the bottom of a bottle, and my Resolve bolstered by Iron Bull. 

I found Anxiety in front of a mirror, and my Faith restored by Sera and breeches. 

“How many more of these shards are there?” I asked Audacity.

“You tell me.” 

“Great.” I sighed as I kept walking, keeping a lookout for something - anything familiar. Who knows what the fade did with my scattered shards of myself. 

“I think there’s someone up ahead.” Desire spoke. 

My shards weren’t all yet fused. We were no one piece but a collection - a pile- of all the shards in one container nor. And we were all distinct pieces. Some louder than others. My Desire was extremely loud, with Satisfaction mirroring their words only a minute or two later. 

“There’s someone…” Satisfaction offered. 

“Yes we know, dear.” Composure sighed. 

“Alright, everyone, I don’t know what aspect or concept it is, but be ready.” Resolve spoke. His one eye and broad shoulders familiar and comforting to see. 

“You could just lay there with him.” Comfort whispered. 

I ignored her and trekked down into the space we all saw the figure. As I approached though, it became evidently clear who it was. My feet rushing as I sped to them faster. They rose looking at me, arms opened. 

“Thom?” I called, my voice breaking as I launched into his embrace. 

“Mercy.” He breathed as we hugged. 

“Thom...How…” 

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Thom kissed me. “Oh maker, I’ve been waiting so long.” 

“I’m sorry...I was just looking for myself first.”

“I know.” He murmured, tears in his eyes. “I know you have. That’s why I waited. I wanted you to be you, as you are.” We kissed again, sinking to our knees as we held each other. He was warm and firm and real and everything I needed just then to feel whole. 

“Oh no…” I pulled back. I felt whole. This...this wasn’t Thom.

“Mercy.” Audacity landed beside me. 

“I know.” I hung my head, swallowing. “Thom…I Love you, but...” 

“Oh Mercy.” His face broke into tears. 

“But I don’t need you.” I pulled away. 

Thom glowed transforming into myself. 

“You did good.” She told me. “You did really good.” 

“What even are you?” 

“Our…” She touched me, “Self worth.” 

“Why is it tied to love?” 

“Because You tied it to Love. But you don’t need love to value yourself.” 

“Maker what an afterschool special this has been.” I shuddered. “Come on in and join the party.” I held her hand and absorbed her.

“I think…” I felt whole. “I think that’s everyone.” I had various voices give their agreement and we almost sounded like one. “Why aren’t we...just one voice?” 

“Perhaps there is one more thing that needs to be done?” Audacity appeared now as a bear, sitting before me. 

“What’s that?”

“Acceptance.” 

I frowned, closing my eyes. I accepted myself, I did. I accepted my flaws and my strengths. I accepted that I tied these things together inexplicably. That each one was bolstered by the people I had met and bonded with since I came to Thedas. I accepted each one, filling more and more myself and my memories returning of what happened. My shattering. I could see the battle could feel the terror rip through me as Sol- 

We shattered, each of us falling apart in a heap and separate. 

“I...I don’t understand.” I groaned as I pushed Resolve-Bull off the head. Somehow he ended up on top of everyone. 

“You’re missing one piece.” My own voice echoed around us. Coming from nowhere and everyone at once. 

“What?” I looked around. Sera jolted up, shivering as she looked around. “What is it?” 

“It’s nothing.” Faith/Anxiety-Sera muttered, eyes wide. 

“Think about it.” 

“What do you mean nothing, there’s someone…” I looked up at the high cliffs for someone that looked like me. 

“It’s **nothing**.” Faith/Anxiety-Sera urged again, 

“What motivates you? What has always motivated you?” 

“Nothing?” I got it. Sera feared nothing. The nothing, the absence of it all. 

“Fear?” I questioned to the voice.

“Oh you’re much smarter than that.”

“Then what?” 

“Not fear, but the anticipation of it.” 

It clicked into place. I knew what it was. “Guys, all in for the last time.” I held my hand out, absorbing everyone into me again. We weren’t whole, but we weren’t alone. 

“Well, have you figured it out?” 

I rose, turning to find myself walking toward me, transforming into a tall regal ancient elf with purple eyes and a wolf jaw hung around his neck.

“Dread.”


End file.
